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1 Description

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Menu 1

2 Description

First Rule of Holes: If you're in one, stop digging.

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3 Description

People are like wine, some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

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4 Description

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

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5 Description

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

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6 Description

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

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7 Description

Don't look back - something might be gaining on you.

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8 Description

Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say 'Don't trust anyone over 30.'"

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9 Description

If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.

10 Description

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

11 Description

In those days they were wiser than they are now; they used to frequently take my advice.

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Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

13 Description

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.